It's over.

Monday, February 20, 2006, 12:21 AM

handling hot stones cold stones and hard stones

i just can't put off these stones away from me. no one ever knew what am i really made up of. i'm just a material which is hard but brittle than anything else. i'm always having problems which is not a problem. the biggest problem is myself. when people are trying to be good. i'll never notice. it's bad. thats one thing. and i know who are the people that treats me good now. finally. my character had spoiled myself. terribly damaged. i just can't find the problem to repair. i don't use to have these problem in the past. i'm far too good. i just can't be bad. when i tried to be bad to my friends, i'm inimated straight away. dennis! thks for scolding me KNN for me not acompanying you to go and cut hair. you are my true friends man. now i know i'm being too good to you and being taken for granted. thks. if not i'll never knew. but actually not only you let me realise that actually. i've lost a friend in my sec sch years just because of this reason. and until now i'll never regret of losing him by showing his true self. in the past erm... sec 1 or 2 that time. i'm not even sociable. and i don't get backstabbers friends. my friends are all malays. and the weird thing is that i fight with people whenever i'm not happy with them. i just can't find any friends in those time. and i'm free of trouble. after school is home. homeboy i can say. but now. after being too good for so many years. i'm taken for granted. and its too much that i can take. handling projects alone, reports alone. and so much more. helping people with projects when i have not done mine. i am there for them in just a call. what is all these for? my mum always said. 'ni ya, mei chi bei qi fu. jiang kpo zhuo she me?' and i reply her 'wo mei you kpo. peng you ma' now i think that she's really right. but how can i change? i really wondered. dennis, i'm sorry to put your name in my blog. but it's the only place for me to voice. you are angry or not i don't care. but all i can say is i'm not angry with you. i'm just angry about myself. you are forgiven. you treated me good before. but i just wish that i don't have friends who gets angry easily and show no mercy to your friends. learn to compromise please. KNN is really a big blow to me. not angry but sad. 'this whole post is not for you only'. i'm sad real sad of some of my friends. but angry about myself. now i just feel like crying. leave me alone. i know u all wanna say that i'm shedding crocodile tears. i don't care. don't tag me telling me about my crocodile tears. i will not have any coments.